Oops! Pastor Says He Accidentally Flooded Texas by Praying Too Hard
Oklahoma Pastor John Benefiel appeared on the Christian Internet’s Generals International this week to talk about how he prayed so hard for a 2007 drought to stop that it caused a flood.
“There was no rain in sight, no rain forecast at all,” he said. “But literally the day after we first used this Baal divorce decree in 2007 — we declared it in a meeting together — the rains came. And we ended up having more rain between February and June of 2007 than any other 12 month period in history.”
So naturally, Benefiel took the show on the road, performing the ceremony in Texas, Kansas, and Missouri. “And at one point and every lake of Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri were at or above flood stage,” Benefiel said. “And that’s what Chuck [Pierce] had prophecized, that when you see this happen, those are areas targeted for a Holy Spirit invasion.”
At least 22 people were killed in those floods in 2007 and thousands lost their homes. So, you know, don’t try the “divorce decree” at home, kids.
The pastor has taken a lot of credit for natural disasters. Yet blames it all on this all-powerful “divorce decree,” which is apparently supposed to free places from the control of the demonic god Baal. Or something. In any case, Texas Governor Rick Perry, in his prodigious wisdom, invited Benefiel to help him out with said divorce decree and, wouldn’t you know it, God sent an earthquake shortly thereafter. Albeit to a different part of the country. But according to Benefiel, that was all him too.
The pastor has been public with all sorts of fun views. He believes that homosexuality is an Illuminati conspiracy to depopulate the earth. He calls watching pornography an act of “Baal worship.” He says the Statue of Liberty is a “demonic idol.” Ultimately, though, he believes that the US is cursed because Ancient Egyptians dedicated our continent to Baal.