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Clive Bundy The History Dummy

When Cliven Bundy revealed himself to be an ignorant bigot, many of those who enjoyed his spot in the national spotlight—either because they support his version of uninformed seditionist crankery or because he so perfectly represents folly of the out-of-touch fringes—wondered what was next for the 67 year-old political wunderkind. The answer is his version of Drunk History.

By signing up for Bundy’s e-mail list, you are then given the links to a series of videos in which he proceeds to get past all that book-learnin’ they thrown atchya in school and tell the real story of America. Gossip-site Gawker has released some of the “highlights” of this series.

Really it’s just a smorgasbord of stupidity, and why someone decided to film this and release it is perhaps the only significant question left about America…because Bundy sure answers all of the other ones that were hanging out there.

For example, ever wonder how we got here? Bundy describes how “pilgrims” got on “sailboats” from all different countries because “the ocean was flat” and it was only supposed to be a short trip. Really, they were fleeing the central government of “Europe.” He gives civics lessons about the executive, legislative, and “adjudical” or “judicial” branch of government, essentially saying that they are three separate governments and really, the founders weren’t all that into them anyway.

There is also a worthwhile literary lesson. Bundy says that the Constitution is “based on ten things” and those things are the Ten Commandments, and that the one follows the other in all things. In fact Bundy warns that “when we vary from that, then our Constitution becomes sort of worthless.”

There has been a trend, spearheaded by the likes of Glenn Beck, that somehow modern historians have gotten everything wrong about America’s beginnings. This is, of course, nonsense.

Photo via screengrab.

About the author

Joshua M. Patton is a father, veteran, and writer living in Pittsburgh, PA. Along with news and current events, he writes about parenting, art, and personal stories. His serial fiction story "The Prophet Hustle" is available at JukePop.com and a forthcoming independent ebook about the cam-modeling industry "Dirty Little Windows" will be available later this summer.