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Rep. Louie Gohmert Beats Physicists to “Theory of Everything”

Since Albert Einstein changed the world of science with his discoveries, theoretical physicists have been long searching for the “theory of everything.” Ostensibly it would be one equation – much like E=MC2 – that elegantly describes the universe through mathematics. Yet, Republican representative from Texas Louie Gohmert has apparently figured out what has escaped generations of scientists.

According to The Huffington Post, Gohmert appeared at a “prayer rally” in Washington, D.C. that was part of Celebrate America, a three-week-long revival event currently in its second week. Gohmert offered up an “equation” that he says all atheists believe.

“Think about it,” Gohmert told a crowd of the faithful, “no matter how smart they think they are, an atheist has to admit that he believes the equation: nobody plus nothing equals everything.” Of course, the Gohmert Equation is as unsound mathematically as it is grammatically.

Of course, that’s not even close to what anyone believes, but it is the exact kind of faux rhetorical excellence that religious folks love, like when Bill O’Reilly suggested that incontrovertible proof of God’s existence was suggesting people can’t explain the tides. Perhaps if Gohmert cared about representing scientific belief more accurately he would have said “Everything plus an explosion times billions of years.” But then again, the universe is only around 6000 years old, after all.

What makes this disturbing is it shows how there are religious “warriors” embedded in the halls of government. Gohmert criticized Rev. Barry Lynn, the executive director for Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, during a hearing with the House Judiciary Committee. Gohmert suggested that Lynn was a “bad” Christian for not sharing his narrow view of the Christian dogma.

There is no question that the “wall of separation” was initially erected to protect the religious from the interference of the government. However, as our union goes on in time it seems that the religious have climbed over that wall like so many wildlings and seek to inflict their religious beliefs on Americans as part of the law.

Gohmert’s idiotic “equation” showcases the lack of rationality in the minds of those who are both religious to the point of

About the author

Joshua M. Patton is a father, veteran, and writer living in Pittsburgh, PA. Along with news and current events, he writes about parenting, art, and personal stories. His serial fiction story "The Prophet Hustle" is available at JukePop.com and a forthcoming independent ebook about the cam-modeling industry "Dirty Little Windows" will be available later this summer.